First time blogger here! ;) Why "Welcome To My World"? Actually,it's supposed to be "A Glimpse of My World",but I ended up typing Welcome To My World. Hehehe. It was the first idea that popped in my head. I want the world to see what my world is like. It might inspire some,might upset some,might blessed some,or whatever! The main point is, I can make a difference by sharing what it is like to be in my world or what and how is my world compared to yours? :)
So,let me take you back in 1984! Wow! Talking about waaaaaaaaay back! I know,right? That was my birth year!
I was the 1st granddaughter on my dad's side. Spoiled rotten by my grandma! She have a desire for a daughter but never blessed with one,instead,she was blessed with all 4 boys! Anyway, so, I was born right. Everybody was so excited! Alot of people think that I looked like my mom,but got my skin color from my dad,which is kinda light color skin. (Oh,by the way, did I mention that I'm a Filipina? No? Ok,now you know! Hehehe )
( Fast forward ) Elementary! At that age,you already started to learn some new things,new stuff,the age where you asks too many questions at the same time ( I should know! I have my own little ones now ) As a kid, I have always wanted to look like my mom,and not my dad! I know,that's kinda harsh and mean! I can't help it at that time! My mom have this perfect tan/fair complexion,pointed nose (which by the way,most Filipinos envied of ). My mom's so pretty to me and I wanted to look like her (especially the nose part ). You're my friend if you come to our house and the first thing you'll notice and say "Oh,you look just like your mom", but if you say I look like my dad,I won't entertain you to come to my house anymore! That's how I was,as a kid!
As a kid,you won't realize or at least,you haven't learn the virtue of being sensitive. Being sensitive to other people's feelings,including your own dad. I was so focused on wanting to be like my mom,as for looks, and I got to the point where it's almost like, I don't like my dad! I hate it when he teased me that I look more like him! He loves to pick on me and teased me! We even argue at the dining table when that "sensitive" topic comes up. It even got to the point where,my mom and grandma would be mad because me and my dad argue a lot when it comes to the matters of "I look like my mom,and not my dad". So,obviously,I'm more closer to my mom than my dad.
As I became closer to become a teenager,situation got better. Me and my dad don't argue as much anymore,but I still want to be told that I look like my mom. Hehehe. My dad would even sometimes tutor me on some school stuffs and we get along fine. But he don't like my grandma spoiled me to anything! And,one thing I like about my dad when I was a kid ( By the way,I have an older brother. I'm the youngest ),was that he never laid his hands on us! He never popped us! He let my mom do the disciplinary action part! Hahaha She's so strict! ( At least,to me at that time ) We have our scheduled house chores,scheduled tv time,playtime,bathtime,naptime (which I hate the most) and bedtime! But,there are exceptions when it's weekend :) Both our parents work but my mom still does her job as a mom and wife. She can cook! But she's not much into cleaning! She let our housemaids to that job. But my mom still wants to instill in us that "just because you have housemaids,doesn't mean that you won't learn some simple house chores" Kinda big house to clean though cause we live in this 2 story house,6 BR,2 1/2 bathroom,that my uncle had built for the family to live!
All I can say,we lived a life that I would say, a great one! Family day on weekends. Movies and dine out! I grew up with that kind of life that a family is what matters most! I would say,I had a perfect life! Good parents,we were well taken cared of,always have new clothes,new toys,went to a private school,have housemaids and babysitters....... Until...
We have to moved out of the house that my uncle built that we have lived for 13 yrs! My childhood memories I have to leave behind. We moved from one place to another. Don't need to go on details because those have passed,but sometimes I can't help but asked myself "What if they didn't let us move out? Will things could have been different? Or it's just really part of God's plan?" We learned the hard way. My parents used to not worry about house rents. My mom,didn't work anymore. My dad was the only one working in the family. With all the house bills and everything,it hit us hard but my parents still gave us all we need. And then....... the worst part! BROKEN FAMILY :(
It just happened! I don't how it all started but next thing I knew everything fell into small pieces,like a glass smashed on the wall. People were stunned and was disbelief! Some people shake their heads,some people feel pity,some people just plain speechless! I go to school and have this look on people's face. A look that says "I'm sorry for what happened to your family" or a look of "Poor kid! Used to have everything,but now,it's almost to nothing" That feeling where you don't even know what you're supposed to feel! One thing I know that my grandma taught me. ALWAYS TRUST IN THE LORD! But the ride wasn't so easy! Too many rough roads! Too many struggles! Many tears have shed! Christmas wasn't the same anymore cause it just reminds us of everything! I have wanted to go with my mom,but in that moment where you have to choose who you want to go with, my heart screams for my dad! I love my mom,but my dad needs me! Me and my bro chose to be with our dad. It wasn't sooooooo easy! We have to adjust! Our journey together wasn't so easy! We stumble,we get up! Stumble again and get up again.
One person that I always go to when I needed to talk. My Grandma or we call her "Nanay". She became my confidante,my bff,my listener. My grandma has a big impact of who I become! She taught me how to be forgiving. How to be an open-minded. She taught me how to get up after a big fall! And the usual thing,she always read the bible to me. She's making sure that I don't turn my back on God for everything that's happening in our life. She always calls me by my 1st name and not my nickname. Whenever I talked to her,it seems like all my burdens are gone. None of my family know this,but she's like that to me. And even up to this moment of my life, I still live up to those virtues that she taught me and makes me who and what I am now!
I want to end this long story by sharing it to you some of my grandma's words of healing to me.
"At some point in our life,we encounter some misfortunes and heartaches that none of us thought that it could happen to us. Things that we're not in control. Never blame the person behind you and don't look at the person the same way in front of you. For only God has the right to judge. You may never know the answers to all your "Why's" right now,but later as you move along,you started to get answers. You started to put back the pieces of shattered glasses back together. Always remember, God is in control. Don't hold anger or grudge against someone,it wasn't your job to do so. Let God take care of it. When you're sad,just talk to him. I won't be here forever,but know in your heart,that I will always be with you. Talk to God,like you're talking to me now. He's a friend! A good friend!"
Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually! 1 Chronicles 16:11, Psalm 105:4
Hello te. Donna ni.
ReplyDeleteHello Dae :)
Delete